i don’t handle rest very well

Every monday I spend “resting.” This includes a number of things: reading, working out, watching movies, journaling, hanging out at starbucks or something. I try very hard to practice a sabbath.

and sometimes it just doesn’t seem to work. I can feel myself well up with nervous energy. I think that I ought to be “working” or “doing something” or “accomplishing.” The whole point of a sabbath is just to “be.” Around 6pm today, i started to feel like the day was a waste. I didn’t accomplish much, i laid around. I read.

you see, i live in the world. i live around a group of people who are extremely talk-oriented. they seem to be very very busy all the time and i feel like a loser for taking a sabbath.

we were all born into a world and into a culture which has patterns. these patterns, sometimes, are very good. other times, these patterns are very much different than what Christ would have for us. I think i’m realizing that the pattern of business and “success” is all around me. “resting” is seen as a waste.

just some thoughts.

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