bullying – 2

yesterday i described bullies.

today: how to deal with em.

in my opinion, you’ve got 3 options:

  1. bully them back. you can call em up, push em, get a mob surrounding their building, call their boss, tell their parents, etc. But whatever happens, you’ve merely become a force that makes the bullies feel and appear less “in-the-wrong” than they really are. in my mind, this is your worst option
  2. passively get walked on. while this is not fun at all, it is effective. while it doesn’t make you feel good, you are demonstrating to the world how much a bully someone is. you’re showing them just how monsterous their actions are. (for example, i get really frustrated with a high school student on a ski trip. i get in his face and tell him to shape up. if he comes back at me, then i will feel and appear more legitimate in my anger. however, if he simply sits their quietly and nods his head, i’m much more likely to apopogize and feel guilty for my anger later). i’ve begun doing this about a year ago. if someone ever made a joke or said something lightly that offended me, i wouldn’t laugh. i wasn’t going to reward the insensitivity or prejudice of others with an affirming laugh. instead they get akward silence.
  3. walk away. yesterday seth godin offered this solution on his blog.  and it’s a good one. bullies cannot exist without someone to bully. take your ball and go home. by doing this your showing the bully (and the world) that you were repeatedly mistreated and you’re not dealing with it anymore. i’m doing this to chase bank. i’m also doing it to specific car companies. and i’m doing it to political parties.

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